It was confusing and full of hummus
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
