Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
