hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My liver just had a heart attack.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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