It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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