ya dads aren't the best wingmen
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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