Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
