Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
