Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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