I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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