does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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