Where is the hickey?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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