he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
