just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
