dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
