I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
