I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
