apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
