are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
