no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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