wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
