I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
