There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
