First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
