How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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