New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
