are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
