I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I look excited, but its just a facade.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize