She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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