Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
