omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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