***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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