I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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