I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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