Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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