You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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