Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
