You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
