Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Someone signed my nipple.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
