wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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