I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
