Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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