I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize