I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
