Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
