I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
