Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
