I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
