Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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