Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
