I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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