he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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