if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
