Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize