There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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