How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
