Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Randomize
