I hate your face
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
