My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she smelled like a LAN party
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
