so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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