never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
