gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
